All Switched Up: The Gender Bender Version
by hipturtle15
Summary: Kowalski has done it again, he invented what he thought was a time machine but as always, something goes wrong. The penguins have been transformed into girls and are totally freaking out! Rated for my jacked up mind. In honor of my near three year existence on this website.


**Okay, not my best work, I'm lazy right now so it's not as 'professionally' written as most of my work. I was bored and couldn't sleep but what a way to kick off your Saturday! A new story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own POM. Although it would SO TOTALLY ROCK IF I DID!**

**Another disclaimer: I'm pretty sure I don't own this plot. I know there are other people who have made the penguins girls but I'm too lazy right now to read them and see what I can't put in. So if I stole similar stuff, sorry. I can delete this if it gets that bad. **

**Enjoy!**

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**All Switched Up: The Gender Bender Version**

**A one-shot written by: hipturtle15**

**Part one: The Time Machine**

Skipper, Private, and Rico were playing a peaceful card game…haha no I'm kidding.

"Ha!" Skipper shouted as he slammed his cards on the table and grabbed a pile of Winkies in front of him and pulled it close.

"No fair!" Private squealed. "You cheated!"

"Yeah!" Rico agreed with a growl. Skipper looked at them with a devious grin.

"I don't know what you men are talking about," he said. Rico stood up and set his flipper on the surface of the table.

"You callin' me a liar?" he grunted. Skipper narrowed his eyes and stood up and got in Rico's face, after a moment of silence, he finally spoke up.

"Yes," he said with a smirk. Rico growled and was about to launch himself onto the flat-headed penguin but Kowalski busted into the room out of the lab with an exited look planted onto his face. He opened his beak to talk but Skipper raised his flippers in the air.

"No, no, no, NO! Don't even start! This is when you interrupt the card game to tell us something science-y and then next thing we know it, the world is in danger," he interrupted. Kowalski's grin faded into a frown.

"Oh…then I guess you don't want to hear about my finally finished time machine," he said.

"You finally finished the time machine?" Private chirped. Skipper smacked his forehead.

"Private! Don't get him-"

"Yeah I finished it, come and see," Kowalski said, interrupting his leader. Private and Rico walked into the lab and Skipper groaned. He finally stood up and walked in as well.

"Behold my time machine!" Kowalski introduced. The devise was square at the bottom but connected to the top was a big circle. Skipper crossed his flippers over his snow white chest.

"You mean the same time machine that switched us up three years back?" he asked with a glare. **(it really has been three years XD) **Kowalski's eyes darted around the room apprehensively and he nervously chuckled.

"…yes, but I fixed it for sure," he said.

"I don't want to believe you," Skipper said, setting his paranoia level to 'hi'.

"To prove you wrong I will set the time machine to that day and show you what I did wrong," he said.

"Can we please, Skippah?"Young Private asked, standing in front of his leader with big eyes. Skipper turned his head away, doing his best to ignore them and groaned.

"Fine, just so I can prove Kowalski I'm right," he said. Kowalski crossed his flippers but ignored the comment and set the time on the device.

"Setting back to August sixth, two-thousand-nine," he said. The huge circle in the center glowed a light pink and swirled around. Kowalski turned to his leader.

"You first, sir," he offered with a grin filed with confidence. Skipper glared at him.

"Oh no, you first Mr. Kowalski, I insist," he said.

"Age before beauty," the scientist said.

"Intelligence before higher ranking," Skipper said with a smirk. Kowalski huffed and faced his machine.

"Fine, I'll go," he muttered and stepped in. Skipper stepped in, then Private, then Rico. Before the leader even knew it, there was a flashing white light and he was knocked out.

**Part two: The Diagnoses **

Skipper opened his eyes very feebly and groaned as his head began to beat. He tried to remember what had happened earlier, but the pain increased and he shut his eyes again. The leader forced himself to stand up and he made his way over to the bathroom with his eyes half open. He didn't bother to look into the mirror and splashed cold water onto his face then looked at himself. But he was horrified at the scene.

His flat head was covered with blonde hair in two, long ponytails that ran down to the bottom of his shoulders. Makeup ran down his face from the water. He began to assume that the boys pranked him in his sleep so he was going to punish them badly. He felt the hair and tugged on it, it was actually _stuck _to his head. He began to whimper and finally screamed.

"Ahhhhhh!" he squealed but realized his one manly voice was replaced by the sound of a teenage girl. Making him want to scream even more. He could hear his team hop out of bed and run into the bathroom, with fretful expressions. When they walked into the room, Skipper noticed he wasn't the only one.

Kowalski's egg shaped head had strawberry blonde hair on to it, hanging down to the side of his face. He had long eyelashes that batted with confusion; he looked like a girl in high school. Rico had solid black hair in a ponytail with long eyelashes, also looking like a teenage girl. Private looked like the same age he was before, meaning he had chocolate brown hair in little pigtails and pink cheeks. The kid looked like a little ten-year-old girl.

Skipper stared at them and backed up against the sink.

"Ah!" he screamed again. "You guys are girls, too!" Kowalski snickered.

"Oh please-ah!" he began to deny but listening to his own voice made him petrified. The team looked at each other and screamed and pointed at each other.

"Kowalski! Options!" Skipper's new girly voice barked. Kowalski pulled out his clipboard but squealed and dropped it. At his feet was not his usual clipboard, it was a pink diary.

"OMG!" he cried looking down at it.

"Explain man-uh-woman!" Skipper barked again.

"We appear to be girls!" Kowalski squealed. Skipper smacked his forehead.

"Like, no dip," he said then his eyes popped out of his head. "Why am I talking like one, too?" he asked.

"I don't know, sir. It appears our brains are transforming into female brains as well," the scientist informed as calm as he could.

"This is your fault!" Skipper accused.

"My fault!" Kowalski echoed. "Oh girl you did NOT."

"I did," Skipper said and launched himself onto the scientist and the two began to scream and pull the other's hair.

"Cat fight!" Rico screamed. Private put his flippers on his hips and glared at him. Rico rolled his eyes and the two pulled Kowalski and Skipper away from each other.

"Would you two, like, stop fighting and fix us!" Private squealed. The three others looked at him and each other than busted out laughing. "What?" Private asked.

"Your voice is so high," Kowalski said rolling on the ground.

"Yeah, even Alvin would laugh at you," Skipper said. Private stomped his foot and crossed his flippers.

"It's not that high," he said, making the others increase their laughter. He stood there and glared at the others as their laughter died down and they stood back up and tried to calm down.

"Okay, I can do this; just give me time to fix the time machine," Kowalski said.

"And what are we supposed to do?" Skipper asked.

"I don't know, just be patient," Kowalski said. As he walked into his lab, the penguins heard their hatch grind against the concrete and Marlene dropped in before they could even react. Skipper, Private, and Rico froze at her. Before their friend could even wave and greet them, her eyes grew wide and she stopped.

"Oh my gosh!" She screamed and took a step backward. Skipper waved his flippers in the air.

"Don't freak out, we can explain!" he pleaded but Marlene shuddered and took another step backwards.

"Ah!" she screamed and ran back up the ladder, hoping she was dreaming.

"Get her!" Rico grunted at his leader. Skipper shook his head.

"Are you crazy? I'm not going out there looking like this," he said. Skipper looked over at Private, who had on an anxious face and wouldn't stop moving.

"Private, why are you hopping up and down like that?" he asked the youth.

"I have to use the potty," he said. Skipper smacked his forehead.

"Then use the potty," he said. Private shook his head.

"I don't know how," he said. Skipper's eyes grew wide.

"Oh yeah, just hang in there, kid," he said, smacking the youth's back, making him whimper.

"Not helping!" he squealed in his high voice.

**Part three: The Solution**

Skipper, Private, and Rico sat in a triangle.

"So like, Skippah," Private said.

"What?"

"Would you rather kiss Miley Cyrus or…Miranda Cosgrove?" Private asked, rocking himself back and forth with a girlish giggle. Skipper looked down at himself and frowned.

"I really don't know anymore," he admitted.

"Oh right," Private said. Rico laughed at the two. Skipper and Private glared at him.

"Like, not cool," Skipper said.

"Totally," Private agreed and then they both looked at each other with wide eyes.

"I don't like talking like a girl, Skippah," Private said with a frown.

"I concur," Skipper said. The three penguins were silent until Marlene dropped back down and chuckled at herself.

"Hey guys, okay, I had the weirdest dream that you all were-ah!" she yelled looking at their features once again. Skipper stood up and tackled her to the ground before she could run away again.

"It's not our fault, its Kowalski," he muttered.

"I heard that!" Kowalski said from his lab. Skipper growled and released Marlene, who was still stunned.

"Okay, I guess this can be adjustable. Anyway, I came in to show you what I found into the lost-and-found box," she said, pulling a radio out from her back.

"A radio?" Skipper asked examining the devise.

"Yeah, you guys want to listen to music?" Marlene asked. Private stood up and hopped up and down.

"Please?" he asked. Marlene smiled and pressed a button and pop/rock music filled the air. Marlene did an excited squeal.

"Ah! This is my favorite song!" she said.

"Me, too!" Private squealed along with her and the next thing the two knew, they were holding paws, jumping up and down, and singing along.

"It's all about party, fun, love, and radio! We just gonna smash these walls until they fall! It's all about party, fun, love, and radio! Our time is running out, baby all we have is now!" they sang and giggled.

"I so can't sing good," Private giggled.

"It's okay, because I like, can't either," Marlene said and the two were laughing. Skipper and Rico watched the two with horrified expressions as the girls giggled their butts off.

"Uh! Make it stop!" Skipper screamed. Private and Marlene looked at him with frowns and the otter turned off the radio.

"Pft, kill joy," she muttered. Just then, Kowalski came out of his lab.

"What was that racket?" he demanded. Marlene and Private gasped.

"That was totally not racket," he said.

"Whatever. Marlene! Can I have that radio?" the scientist asked her.

"Yeah, sure," she said handing Kowalski the devise.

"A radio has the equipment inside to possibly fix my Gender Bender," he said.

"Oh, so now it's got a new name?" Private asked. Kowalski nodded.

"So basically you're going to tare the radio apart?" Skipper asked.

"Basically," Kowalski confirmed and ran back into his lab.

An hour later, Kowalski came back out and brought his Gender Bender with him. He set it on their concrete table and turned it on.

"This better work, I don't know what else to try," he said.

"You're darn right it better work, I have to pee and I'm not waiting any longah," Private said.

"Anything is worth a try, men…except switching genders. Let's just go," Skipper said. The four stepped in and the white flash greeted them once more. The four soon stepped out of the machine, dizzy. Skipper felt the top of his head. He actually smiled as he felt the smooth, flat surface he had missed so much. He looked around at the others, who were smiling at their old features.

"Kowalski you finally did it!" Sipper said, smiling wider at his manly voice. "Come here ya ole geek," Skipper said and gave Kowalski a noogie. **(I guess I spelled that right. Oh well.)** Kowalski didn't find it all that friendly and pulled himself away.

"I'm good, sir," he said awkwardly. Private hopped up and down.

"BATHROOM!" he squealed and ran to his requested destination.

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**Haha, yeah, not my best ending and not my best story. But what else are ya going to do when you're bored! So that song Marlene and Private were singing was "Party, Fun, Love, and Radio" by We the Kings. And anyone who knows me knows that I am a big We the Kings fan and they are my favorite band in the world. I just had to use a girly moment between Private and Marlene so I had them sing along to a song. Anyways, happy Saturday and bye!**


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